Book Suggestion: Resurrection After Rape by Matt Atkinson

Resurrection After Rape by Matt Atkinson

As I waited for months to get in to see a rape trauma therapist, a counselor at The Center for Women and Children in Crisis recommended this book to me. I ordered it and very reluctantly opened it.  The first thing that hit me was that Matt Atkinson "gets it". It's hard to find people who are supportive of victims, but to find one that is so knowledgeable and understanding ... is quite a comfort.

His book is a great resource for all elements of dealing with rape trauma. He includes definitions, scientific information, lots of examples and exercises. I found the journal questions to be some of the most helpful at getting me to start to look at the rape differently. Asking myself questions like:

• If rape is a form of theft, what did it steal?(p70)
• What do you wish people knew or understood about the rape so that they could help you now?(p82)
• Why do you think victims of rape tend to blame themselves and feel guilty for rape that someone else did to them?(p83)
• How has my life been affected by having to keep my rape inside?(p101)
• When you look back in hindsight, do you see any warning signs of a controlling or abusive personality in the rapist?(p101)
• Complete the following statement "Sex is ..." (p200)
• Do you wish you lived in a sexless world? (p201)

Matt's definition of healthy sexuality made me cry: "Any expression of sexuality that uplifts the human worth of any person involved, and enhances self-worth rather than diminishing it" (p203). I pray we can all experience this and spread this understanding to others.

One of the exercises that really opened my eyes to my inner pain was writing a letter to myself (p61). He asks his patients to write a letter to themselves the day before the rape, beginning with the phrase:

"Dear __________
Tomorrow something terrible is going to happen to you that will change your life. What I want you to know about it is ..."

This self letter makes me weep every time I think about it. It was hard to write, but allowed me to start having compassion for myself and to see me as the innocent victim that I was.

An activity I found hope and strength in was the collage (p92). While I have to admit I was too frightened to make a collage about how being raped made me feel, I did make one about fighting to heal from it. This project in itself brought me joy, as did seeing it hang on my wall.