The Neurobiology of Sexual Assault by Dr. Rebecca Campbell
A rape crisis therapist from The Center for Women and Children in Crisis suggested this webinar to me. She knew I was desperately seeking information to better understand myself and what I was experiencing.
In the webinar Dr. Campbell describes the scientific reasons why sexual trauma memories are kept in pieces, full of incredible detail, but out of order in the brain. She also explains why "freezing" is an automatic life saving response and very common in victims.
I found her research helpful as I realized that I am "normal" and experienced "normal" reactions for a rape victim. It was this webinar that gave me the information I needed to allow me to trust
myself and how my mind was putting my memories back together. I stopped
fighting and questioning myself and just let the memories flow. Instead
of a flash here and a flash there, I began to remember the whole
incident. It took faith, patience and a lot of self-compassion in order
to allow my traumatized mind to put the horrific memories together. But in doing so, my flashbacks stopped. Through this I found that the most terrifying of my memories was the most difficult to put together, and I had to give myself time to do it.
The talk is long, at times detailed, and heart wrenching. It works out to be about an hour as the last half hour is questions and answers. I'm grateful I listened to it, although, there is one story that she describes that will forever tear at my heart.
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