Talk Suggestion: Like a Broken Vessel by Elder Holland

When I was diagnosed with PTSD I thought my life was over. I had felt broken for over a decade, but being officially declared as such was too much to live with. But my husband was instantly relieved at the diagnosis. I didn't understand his reaction at all. To me my life was deemed forever ruined because another person had raped me. But to him it was information. It was the name of the inner dragon I had been battling. He saw it as a step closer to healing.

I greatly appreciate my husband's reaction as I have learned that education on rape trauma and PTSD brings understanding of myself. Being able to see my everyday battles like flashbacks, anxiety attacks, constant fear and avoiding people on a symptoms list actually made me feel more normal. I'm not crazy. I'm going through a really hard time right now. Now I know I can, and should, ask for help.

Elder Holland gave a talk in October 2013 titled "Like a Broken Vessel" discussing the mortal challenge of mental illness. When I initially heard the talk I didn't realize that he was talking to me. Now years later I have listened to it with that knowledge. My heart fills with gratitude to know such an amazing man and apostle of the Lord is on my side.

Some of my favorite quotes are:
1) "If you had appendicitis, God would expect you to seek a priesthood blessing and get the best medical care available. So too with emotional disorders. "
2) "Patiently enduring some things is part of our mortal education."
3) "Though we may feel we are 'like a broken vessel,' as the Psalmist says, ¹⁰ we must remember, that vessel is in the hands of the divine potter."
4) "Until that hour when Christ’s consummate gift is evident to us all, may we live by faith, hold fast to hope, and show 'compassion one of another'... " ¹³
  
This talk reminded me that by trusting in God I can make it through. I may have to fight this trial the rest of my life, or I might not. A miracle might free me from the pain. But no matter what, I will keep pushing through. I have already been blessed by many small mercies like finding a wonderful EMDR Trauma Therapist and an anxiety medication that took away the inner shaking that I constantly had. I am getting better and I know that this fight is worth it. I won't give up. Don't you give up!

Did you watch the talk? What touched you? How do you feel about PTSD?